LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
