I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think my tv is drunk
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
