shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
