new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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