went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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