I seem to have left my pride at pride
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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