What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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