do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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