My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
