fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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