i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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