I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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