he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
