I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize