I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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