How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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