and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
