Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
