My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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