It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
