What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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