I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
