I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
