If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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