I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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