He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
