im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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