So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
