Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
