rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
