I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
