At least make sure they are 18
Why
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
