I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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