Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
