You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
