I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
