dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
