it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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