So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I touched a dick in church today
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
