Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
