it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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