9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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