Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
