The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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