Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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