ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
