i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
