then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
