I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize