Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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