I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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