I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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