Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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