Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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