Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
