It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
