my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
