how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
