KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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