soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
