Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
