And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
