:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
