you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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