just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
