I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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