He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
